It’s been a while since I last posted a blog post. I’ve been too busy sorting my life out …oh and being naughty. Now I think I have something to say again. And my weekend at the start of the month in Bristol renewed my commitment to what is a lovely, supportive community of eroticon fiction writers and bloggers. I feel I would be letting people down if I didn’t start writing again. It is with Eroticon 2015 that I will begin…..
“I feel loved” I said looking Ruby in the eye.
“You are loved” she replied.
This is not the introduction to (or even the end of!) a love story but an exchange with Eroticon founder and organiser Ruby Kiddell in the bar of Bristol’s SAS Radisson as I reluctantly prepared to return to Temple Meads station for my train home. The conversation actually picked up the threads of one from the previous evening. I had come to Eroticon 2014 in male persona so this year was my first time as a woman. And the fact that I have taken this step is due in no small part to a very profound (and unexpected) conversation I had at the bar at Eroticon 2014. You see, I owe a lot to this event.
I had expected to be accepted, after all the sort of people who have a problem with transgenderism are not generally the sort of people who are likely to go to Eroticon anyway. I got much much more, support, encouragement, and from several people a real sense that they were happy for me. It was in this sense that I felt loved.
There is actually an awful lot to love about Eroticon. The presentations and demos are always interesting, frequently fascinating and sometimes utterly amazing (the rope bondage demo will stay with me for a long long time) but it is the people who make this event. Where else can you find a group of people who, whilst coming from diverse backgrounds, essentially get sex and sexuality, will not judge, and are always ready to talk and engage with you. I, for example, found myself in in very deep conversation over pizza and Prosecco on the Saturday night, this with two people who had been strangers only 24 hours earlier! This is what Eroticon does. Knowing you will not be judged, you can open up and share. And really, the trust implied by others sharing intimate things with you is humbling.
I should also add that the people at Eroticon are also fun to be with as well and partying is a big part of the weekend (even if the noise in Revolution bar was a bit much for some!) Nervous newbies don’t stay nervous long in this environment. For me Eroticon is a family, one that I could really not do without.
After the final session with an awful feeling of anti-climax descending many of us went back to the bar at the Radisson. I decided to stay an extra hour and catch a later train. I am so glad I did because it gave me an opportunity to have a deep and thought provoking conversation with Remittance Girl .
I’ll mention a few others I talked to at the event. Apologies if I missed you out but in no particular order: Rebecca who blogs about sex education and tweets as @sextracurricular, @earotica aka Jonathan Keith , Marie Rebelle, Ashley Lister, Girl on the Net, Preston Avery, KD Grace. Lily Harlem, Violet Fenn, Celia Vargas, F Leonora Solomon and Charles J Forrest, recipient of a free cocktail as I rushed for my taxi on that final evening, this in the spirit of Eroticon generosity of course and not a hint for next time we find ourselves in the same bar!
We shouldn’t wish our lives away but I really can’t wait for Eroticon 2016 to come round. And you now what? I’ve not felt the drop this year. Yes I felt loved and I want all those I engaged with at Eroticon to know that I love you too.
And you know what? I haven’t felt the drop so much this year. I was left with a feeling of being sure of where I will now be going in life, in terms of gender, sexuality and kink, a feeling of being deeply comfortable with who I am. And the lovely vintage frock I had ordered arrived while I was away. That sort of things lifts any girl’s spirits!